sorry its been a while :)

I know its been forever since i blogged last but my computer is not as close to me back home in birmingham like it is when im in tuscaloosa for school. LOL Sooooo, i guess im going to update you a little bit... briefly... shortly...and sweetly :o)

I came home to my moms house for the summer to work with kids at the YMCA... i never did my pageant... because... well.... im just lazy and what not! haha for some reason things just weren't falling into place like i expected them too.. mainly..... the money part of it! and the paper work was just too much and too confusing to deal with! BUTTTT i hope to still get my platform out there to work with children promoting character based on the bible! So if anyone knows of anywhere as a good place to get that started or if anyone wants to help out in any way... THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOO AWESOME! :)
My last day at the ymca for the summer will be august 6 and then I'm going back to tuscaloosa to work and then heading out to texas for some American Idol try outs with my girl Jana! Its just for fun for me and to support her, and plus after the long summer.... im ready for a road trip and some fun! and to get away from boy drama... still the same boy btw! it never fails.... the closer i get to moving on.... what does he do??? throws that line on out there just a little bit! but i can honestly say this.... it doesn't bother me like it did... but i think its because number one i'm on commitment right now so i cant date anyways haha number 2.... itll work out in Gods time if its supposed to... and number 3....i expect him to be a jerk now but we dont really talk. But i'm torn with the whole acting like a christian and being kind and forgiving towards him. I mean in the bible it says if your enemy slaps you.... turn the other cheek and let them slap the other side! WELL MY FACE HURTS FROM LETTING HIM SLAP ME SO MUCH! so do i keep on forgiving him and giving him chances or what!????? I dunno... you tell me!

Other than all that.... im really hoping to get a new car! I have been demo driving a brand new crimson/black nissan maxima! My honda is just not makin it like it used to! I mean jeez, its got 170,000 miles on it and been through everythinggggg! I just need a reliable car now... and im not going to waste my money on just anything... if im gonna spend my money, its going to be on something that I'm in love with! andddd IM IN LOVE WITH THAT CAR! but ill have to work my butt off to make the payments for it! like 4 jobs or something! haha but i think it might end up working out if the lord decides to bless me.... the Manager of the Nissan store is a guy from my church! I'm really hoping he will knock the price down a little bit and help with the payments some by cutting them in HALF of what they are right now! Im realllyyyyy praying that this is from God! If it doesnt come through... well.... then I pray someone rear ends me and THEY can buy me a knew car hehehehe

I also... have been thinkin alot lately about what I want in the next relationship i do end up in... How I want to be treated and how and what I think I should be for my boyfriend/ future husband! I know that The lord is not the author of confusion... and that my ex boyfriend who I STAY CONFUSED ABOUT clearly will never change.. and if he does... we all know its no time soon. But whoever I am with.... I want to be his best friend, and he to be my best friend... his rock and back bone....his only true love, the one he calls first with good news or bad news.... the one who makes him laugh no matter how mad he is at me or anyone else, the one he gets advice about anything important from, the one who knows EVERY SMALL DETAIL AND SECRET about him, stuff that his mother or even his best guy friend doesnt know, the girl that he cant live without, the girl he would fight for if anything or anyone ever tried to come between us! The girl he isn't afraid to tell his friends that i've got him wrapped around my pinky...but it will be ok because I will be wrapped around his too! The one he ALWAYS says I love you too.... and the one girl where not a day goes by without him giving me a compliment... such as "your beautiful" and i would tell him..."baby, you are so sexy" I wanna be the girl he disses his friends for.... the girl he goes to church with....... i wanna be everything to someone..... and I wanna be there and take care of someone and be the best wife/gf i can possibly be to someone! All of the stuff I want to be for him.... i want him to be for me too!

alright well thats it haha good to get that out! WHew!