Alot of you may not know, but I used to compete in Miss Alabama Preliminaries (if you win you go to Miss alabama). I absolutely loved competing and showing my talent and love of dance to other people. I never actually placed in any of the pageants... got top 10 a couple of times though...the last pageant I competed in...I won talent. After about 18 pageants and I didn't place, I got a little burnt out and thought to myself..."this is obviously not what the Lord has in store for me right now.".. what is the point of pushing myself and watching what I eat if I'm not going anywhere in this aspect of my life? It was definately a dream of mine to place in the top 5 and to even win and go on to Miss Alabama, but the actual percent of that happening was pretty much slim to none in my mind.
Well about a week ago, actually not even a week ago.... like Monday night, I was watching Joel Osteen and he was talking about how we have certain dreams in our hearts because God puts them there... and if the desires to pursue that dream are still there... then GOD STILL WANTS YOU TO PURSUE THE DREAM! And God is always saying..."You still should!"
-This is relevant because the Miss Alabama Pageant started on wednesday!The entire time I am watching the pageant for the last 3 nights... all I can think about is how much I miss it and how I want to get back into competing so badddd!!! Then after I think about it, I try and talk myself out of it....Telling myself....where are you gonna get the money? What are you going to wear??? you can't lose that much weight before july 31st!!!! What are you gonna do for talent?!?? what about pictures and headshots???? whats your platform going to be??? YOU CAN"T DO THIS BY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
SO........ thursday night at the pageant...I ran into an old friends mom... i danced with her all growing up and then did pageants with her forever too! Her mom is best friends with the miss leeds pageant director! They both (the director and my friends mom) are telling me that I better be in the Miss leeds pageant on july 31st! I tell them.... "Do you see how much weight I've gained???? and I can't pay for that.... my mom is not going to help me at all!" They both keep telling me.... you can do it!!!!! Start now... get your papers together and call me and Ill see what I can do to help. So at this point... I'm set... KINDA! I still am thinking.... THERES NO WAY I CAN GET ALL OF THIS TOGETHER IN A MONTH AND A HALF!!! much less.... I gotta lose about 40 pounds... BECAUSE I REFUSEEEEEEEEEEE to look like a heffer on stage! HA
OK .... SO LISTEN... cause this is where it gets crazy :) a friend tagged me in a picture, this little girl comments on it and says "omg jessica was my big sister in miss leeds area 2005!" NOW....I don't know what anyone else thinks that means.... BUT TO ME.... that was God answering my question, "should i do miss Leeds?" I did it way back in the day and I here I am wondering and thinking about whether I should actually go through with it..... and there it is... as plain as day!!! DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE IT?
I thought it was CRAZZYYYYY that God really can be so blunt sometimes and it AMAZED me as soon as I saw that The little girl commented on the picture! I mean out of all things... the little rising star who I mentored at the Miss LEeds Pageant FIVE YEARS AGO (to be honest kinda forgot about her) is right here showing up at this time!??????? WHEWWW Its defiantely a God thing! :)
*THe one question I've been asking myself and God straight up gave me an answer.At this point.... All I can do is prepare myself for the pageant, because the dream is still in my heart... and God is gonna get the rest... Nope.... I don't have any money to do it.... and Nope I can't fit into a dress or swim suit right now... and nope I dont have a talent right now... and NOPE I dont have any pictures.... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT..... THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!
