STUPID insecurities

I love all of my friends to death! They all are special, unique, and beautiful in their own way. Today, I found myself being very insecure around them. I know that GOD says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He tells me over and over again how beautiful I am and how loved I am..... but for some reason... I barely believe it myself. I WILL SAY, I have gotten alot better about believing it, but it is just certain things that bring up my insecurities.
I try and try and try to keep my mind focused on MY RELATIONSHIP with the Lord. Then, I get around people who seem to be more focused on a relationship with another person, or constantly talk about a boy that they like or a boy who likes them. Then, I find myself wondering, well "why doesn't a boy like me?" THEN, is when my insecurities come flying in my face and I start asking myself, am i not pretty? is my personality not good enough? am I not skinny enough? Its so stupid to me and I hate that those questions even enter my thoughts! But it is the truth..... When I see girls who are totally cute and pretty talking about guys all the time, it makes me wonder, why not me?
Then, I start blaming the guys. For being so visual. For not taking the time, TO GETTING TO KNOW ALL THE GIRLS! The skinny ones, the bigger ones, the beautiful ones, the ones who are simple, the quiet ones who are shy in front of other people. It starts to make me mad when there are girls like me who have great personalities and love the lord but no one will take the time to reallllllllllllyy get to knoW us. They don't take the time To know how funny and goofy I am. Sometimes, I think my perrsonality is what makes my looks even better.
ALL of this makes me mad, because I DO LOVE THE LORD, which is why it bothers me so much that I even start thinking any of this. If we all Love the Lord so much, and want a relationship with him, why are we constantly worried about what other people think? or if a guy likes us? or a girl likes us? Why do we have these insecurities!? Boy crazy girls who claim to love the lord, just make me so mad sometimes. These are beautiful girls who ALWAYS have a different boy in every conversation that comes up! It makes me mad, because I do so good with myself until a boys name comes into the conversation. I DON"T even WANT TO THINK ABOUT BOYS right now. OBVIOUSLY, some of us are single because that is the way that God wants it right now.. I believe we are going to be single until we fulfill Gods plan for us in the season we are in right now. THEN, he will send us someone. I just wish other girls would understand that. I also believe that, if your focus is on a guy all the time and not completely on the Lord, he's not gonna bless you with the perfect man because your not focused on THE MAIN MAN.
Girls like that, for some reason, bring me down and make me start thinking about stupid things. Then, secretly, in my mind, I start getting mad that they are so focused on a boy and not the Lord. I don't say anything, because I feel its not really my place to say anything... But it quietly makes me not want to hang out with girls who are so boy crazy that it makes me start to think about boys.... it makes me lose my focus on the Lord and I don't like how I feel when I am with girls who are boy crazy!
I don't get it... I dont understand it...... its just there. Maybe I am just completely abnormal.